Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
(Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show)

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
(August Strindberg)

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
(Lily Tomlin)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
(Mark Twain)

Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
(Mark Twain)

The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
(Mark Twain)

We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
(John Webster)

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
(Oscar Wilde)

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
(Steven Wright)

Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
(Steven Wright)