Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal
palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be
goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve
you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. I remember an
answer which when quite young I was prompted to make to a valued adviser who was
wont to importune me with the dear old doctrines of the church. On my saying,
"What have I to do with the sacredness of traditions, if I live wholly from
within?" my friend suggested,--"But these impulses may be from below, not from
above." I replied, "They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the Devil's
child, I will live then from the Devil." No law can be sacred to me but that of
my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this;
the only right is what is after my constitution; the only wrong what is against
it. A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition as if every
thing were titular and ephemeral but he. I am ashamed to think how easily we
capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions. Every
decent and well-spoken individual affects and sways me more than is right. I
ought to go upright and vital, and speak the rude truth in all ways. If malice
and vanity wear the coat of philanthropy, shall that pass? If an angry bigot
assumes this bountiful cause of Abolition, and comes to me with his last news
from Barbadoes, why should I not say to him, 'Go love thy infant; love thy
wood-chopper; be good-natured and modest; have that grace; and never varnish
your hard, uncharitable ambition with this incredible tenderness for black folk
a thousand miles off. Thy love afar is spite at home.' Rough and graceless would
be such greeting, but truth is handsomer than the affectation of love. Your
goodness must have some edge to it,--else it is none. The doctrine of hatred
must be preached, as the counteraction of the doctrine of love, when that pules
and whines. I shun father and mother and wife and brother when my genius calls
me. I would write on the lintels of the door-post, *Whim*. I hope it is somewhat
better than whim at last, but we cannot spend the day in explanation. Expect me
not to show cause why I seek or why I exclude company. Then again, do not tell
me, as a good man did to-day, of my obligation to put all poor men in good
situations. Are they my poor? I tell thee thou foolish philanthropist that I
grudge the dollar, the dime, the cent, I give to such men as do not belong to me
and to whom I do not belong. There is a class of persons to whom by all
spiritual affinity I am bought and sold; for them I will go to prison if need
be; but your miscellaneous popular charities; the education at college of fools;
the building of meeting-houses to the vain end to which many now stand; alms to
sots, and the thousand-fold Relief Societies;--though I confess with shame I
sometimes succumb and give the dollar, it is a wicked dollar which by and by I
shall have the manhood to withhold.
Virtues are, in the popular estimate, rather the exception than the rule. There
is the man and his virtues. Men do what is called a good action, as some piece
of courage or charity, much as they would pay a fine in expiation of daily
non-appearance on parade. Their works are done as an apology or extenuation of
their living in the world,--as invalids and the insane pay a high board. Their
virtues are penances. I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for
itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower
strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and
unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. I
ask primary evidence that you are a man, and refuse this appeal from the man to
his actions. I know that for myself it makes no difference whether I do or
forbear those actions which are reckoned excellent. I cannot consent to pay for
a privilege where I have intrinsic right. Few and mean as my gifts may be, I
actually am, and do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows
any secondary testimony.
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule,
equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole
distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will
always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it.
It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in
solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the
crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
The objection to conforming to usages that have become dead to you is that it
scatters your force. It loses your time and blurs the impression of your
character. If you maintain a dead church, contribute to a dead Bible-society,
vote with a great party either for the government or against it, spread your
table like base housekeepers,--under all these screens I have difficulty to
detect the precise man you are: and of course so much force is withdrawn from
your proper life. But do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you
shall reinforce yourself. A man must consider what a blindman's-buff is this
game of conformity. If I know your sect, I anticipate your argument. I hear a
preacher announce for his text and topic the expediency of one of the
institutions of his church. Do I not know beforehand that not possibly can he
say a new and spontaneous word? Do I not know that with all this ostentation of
examining the grounds of the institution he will do no such thing? Do I not know
that he is pledged to himself not to look but at one side, the permitted side,
not as a man, but as a parish minister? He is a retained attorney, and these
airs of the bench are the emptiest affectation. Well, most men have bound their
eyes with one or another handkerchief, and attached themselves to some one of
these communities of opinion. This conformity makes them not false in a few
particulars, authors of a few lies, but false in all particulars. Their every
truth is not quite true. Their two is not the real two, their four not the real
four; so that every word they say chagrins us and we know not where to begin to
set them right. Meantime nature is not slow to equip us in the prison-uniform of
the party to which we adhere. We come to wear one cut of face and figure, and
acquire by degrees the gentlest asinine expression. There is a mortifying
experience in particular, which does not fail to wreak itself also in the
general history; I mean "the foolish face of praise," the forced smile which we
put on in company where we do not feel at ease in answer to conversation which
does not interest us. The muscles, not spontaneously moved but moved by a low
usurping wilfulness, grow tight about the outline of the face with the most
disagreeable sensation.
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